


I can take no more lies

by who_seeks_shall_find



Series: Life as I see it [15]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Confessions, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Questioning, Secrets, post-season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 09:23:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14974154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_seeks_shall_find/pseuds/who_seeks_shall_find
Summary: Finally, John tells Felicity that he visited Oliver in prison without her or William. It makes Felicity wonder if there is something wrong with her because everyone she loves keeps lying to her.





	I can take no more lies

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of the series about Oliver's imprisonment and a year after it. This drabble takes place after Oliver has been released from prison. Oliver has been a free man for 120 days.
> 
> I'm going to write a series which will be updated once a day (if it's just possible). It's going to include 122 drabbles about Oliver, Felicity, William and other characters who are involved in their lives. Therefore, it's going to take approximately four months to finish the series. The drabbles are linked to each other but they're NOT in a CHRONOLOGICAL order. That's why, there may also be gaps or blanks which are filled in later.
> 
> I wish that every character is respected without unnecessary hatred.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Felicity was typing furiously. She had been in their new secret bunker for four last nights and she had barely slept. She had to concentrate on the task because they were so close to catch Diaz. Felicity just needed to locate where in Star City he was. Rumour has it Diaz was back in the city and he was planning on something. They couldn’t let him get away again. They needed to catch the son of a bitch. 

Oliver and John had hit the streets relentlessly. Rene, Curtis and Dinah also helped them. They weren’t forming a team again but they were at a good place after Oliver’s imprisonment. Everyone had helped Felicity and William while Oliver was away. They were friends again and they spent time together even when they weren’t fighting crime. It felt good to leave the past behind and move forward although it hadn’t been easy. 

Felicity’s fingers were flying across the keyboard while she wrote a piece of a code which could help them to catch Diaz. She let out a yawn which she didn’t even bother to hide. It was late and Oliver would be back soon. Felicity was sure that others were just going to go straight to their homes.

It was like Oliver was waiting for a signal and the door was opened. She heard the steps and turned to say hi to her husband. Yet, she found John standing right in front of her. Suddenly, Felicity’s heart was pacing. Something must have happened to Oliver. John wouldn’t be there if Oliver was fine. Why hadn’t she heard anything unusual through the comms?

John seemed to notice her distress and hurried to say: “Felicity, breathe. Oliver is fine. William is fine. I asked Oliver to leave us alone for a moment. I need to tell you something.”

Now Felicity was officially confused. Everything was fine although Diaz was still out there. They had caught the guy who had been sending those threats to her and FBI hadn’t bothered them after Oliver had become a free man. Maybe Lyla was in trouble. Felicity was becoming nervous and John wasn’t helping. He looked at his hands without making an eye contact with her. Felicity cleared her throat and John gave her a nervous look. 

He started: “You’re like a sister to me and I need to be honest. I can’t keep living and pretending that I haven’t told you something. I hope you understand when I explain this to you.”

“You’re really scaring me, John. Are you sure that everyone is okay? Oh God, are you okay? Are you sick?” Felicity panicked.

“I’m fine and everybody else is also fine. You don’t have to worry about that,” John reassured her and Felicity just nodded cautiously.

John continued: “Oliver has been home for four months now and I never had the courage to tell you that I visited him while he was in Supermax.”

Felicity tried to process what John was saying so she repeated his words: “Visited him while he was in Supermax?”

John nodded and confirmed: “Yeah, I visited him. I should have asked you to come with me but I was concerned. I didn’t want to mess with your head. I wasn’t sure what I was going to see or if Oliver had changed somehow. I tried to protect you.”

Felicity shook her head. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Once again someone had decided to protect her by not telling her something important. What was wrong with the men in her life? Or was there something wrong with her? Her father, Cooper, Oliver and John had lied to her. There had to be something wrong with her. She winced a little and let out a small squeak. 

John took a step closer and pressed his big hand on her forearm. He knelt in front of her because she was still sitting. He looked at her with a concerned look. Felicity raised her hand onto her mouth so she could contain her sobs. John rubbed small circles on her arm with his thumb. 

“Felicity. Talk to me,” he begged with a soft voice.

“What is wrong with me?” she asked desperately and now it was John’s turn to look confused.

He quickly responded: “Nothing is wrong with you. Why do you even ask that?”

“Everyone keeps lying to me. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t care whether you lie to me to keep me safe or any other reason. Why would you lie to me if you didn’t think that there was something wrong with me?” Felicity asked gulping.

John had to take a moment before he could answer. 

“Don’t ever think that there is something wrong with you. Never. Oliver and I, we’re just men and we make stupid decisions in order to keep our loved ones safe. Lyla can tell you a few stories,” John said with a wink. 

Then he continued: “We make bad choices and we don’t always consult you because we’re scared of losing you. It’s our greatest fear.”

Felicity wrinkled her nose and asked: “Why would you think that you would lose me if you told me about visiting Oliver?”

John shrugged and answered: “I was scared of the consequences. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I visited Oliver and I didn’t want you to isolate yourself from us. I didn't know how you would react. There were so many emotions going on back then and I couldn't risk you not talking to me. It hurts me when I don’t know what’s going on with you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I mean Oliver has been back for four months and I don’t even know when you visited him,” Felicity demanded. 

“I didn’t want to tell you while Oliver was still in prison because I was sure it would mess with your head and you already had so much on your plate back then. I even asked him not to tell you about my visit in his letters. I needed you to concentrate on yourself, William and your safety,” John explained and took a deep breath before continuing. 

“Then Oliver was back and I saw how happy you were. Sure, you were angry with him but you finally had him back. I had no right to interfere with that happiness. However, now I needed to be selfish and tell you. I wanted to clear my conscience. I just couldn’t pretend that I had nothing to hide. I feel so far away from you when there are secrets between us,” John confessed and Felicity could see small tears pooling in his eyes.

Felicity looked straight into his apologetic brown eyes and she stated: “I’m glad that you told me. Yet, I’m pretty mad at you for lying no matter what the reason is. I'm entitled to yell at you later after this stunt. Now I'm just too tired to do it."

She squeezed John hand but she wasn't done so she went on: "Lying has to stop. I actually can’t take more lying. I need all of us to be honest with each other. You may think that your reasons are rational and you want to protect me. However, I’m a big girl and I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions. Genius IQ, remember?”

She emphasized her last statement by pointing towards her head and John chuckled.

He raised his hands for surrender and replied: “Whatever you say, Felicity. I’ll never forget it in the future.”

Felicity smiled at him sweetly and stated: “Smart decision, Mr. Diggle. Now I think we need to hug so we can truly reconcile.”

Felicity stood up and John buried her into a huge hug while he murmured: “It would be my pleasure.”

They just stood there for a while holding each other. Then John whispered: “I won’t ever forgive myself that I made you question yourself. Don’t ever think that we men lie to you or leave you behind because there is something wrong with you. I should have known that all this would remind you of your father. Am I right?”

Felicity just nodded. She didn’t want to talk about her own insecurities right now. She should learn how to live with them but today wasn’t the day. She was too exhausted. She needed to sleep because these last nights had really taken a toll on her. She wanted to bring her A game so they could catch Diaz and in order to do so she needed some sleep.

She slowly let John go and took a step back. John made a small grin and placed his hand on her shoulder. He hesitated for a while but finally he found the courage to say what was on his mind. He took a serious face although Felicity could see a glint in his eyes.

“Don’t ever tell Oliver but I prefer you over him anytime. I’m always on your side,” John declared ceremonially. 

Felicity laughed. This was a secret she was happy to keep. She stepped forward and gave a small kiss on John’s cheek.

“Thank you, John. You’re a good man. Don't you ever question that. I love you,” Felicity whispered.

John looked stunned and he didn’t say a word. He struggled with keeping his emotions under control. Felicity let out a small giggle as she looked at his struggles. John wouldn’t be able to say anything more tonight so it was time to go home. She waved her hand and hurried to the stairs.

She shouted over her shoulder before she left: “Try to recover from the shock. You also need a good night sleep. Good night.”

**Author's Note:**

> Update for tomorrow:  
> When Felicity and William came back to Star City, the press was interested how many superheroes Felicity had dated. After all she had once said that 'the Flash was much more her type'.


End file.
